What Lies Beyond the Grief
by CharizardFreak
Summary: Sometimes, in the silence of the night when you're all alone and trying very hard to sleep, your brain decides that would be the perfect time to mull things over and sort through your various memories and emotions.
1. Guilt

Sometimes, in the silence of the night when you're all alone and trying very hard to sleep, your brain decides that would be the perfect time to mull things over and sort through your various memories and emotions. This can actually happen any time you're alone: in the shower, in your room, or even just sitting on your couch staring at the TV without paying attention to what's going on. As long as you're by yourself and have no means of distraction, the things you don't want to think about tend to assault you; each desperate for you to acknowledge them and all but begging not to be forgotten.

No matter how much you might like to forget them.

….

Tsubaki honestly didn't know what was worse.

The nightmares or the memories.

One attacked her mind throughout the day; the other amplified and renewed the resulting emotions all through the night.

They alternated subjects, too.

Sometimes, they were about the final fight with her brother. Often, and more recently, they were about Mifune. And other times, they insisted that she re-live her childhood…

Back when her parents refuse to believe her about Masamune.

Refused to believe their quiet, sickly son was capable of such things.

Choosing instead to believe that their daughter was making up cruel lies about her brother out of spite or for attention.

Tsubaki sat on the floor of the bathroom and wiped the tears of frustration off her face. Even after all this time and all of their apologies, just the thought of those days caused her throat to burn and her stomach to twist. She clenched her fists. She had forgiven them for everything and held no grudges, so why couldn't she ever_**stop crying about it**__? _ She sniffled and reached around the toilet to tear a wad of tissue off its holder. As she dabbed at her face, she wondered how exactly the events of the night had led to her sitting in the bathroom with doors locked and lights off at some ungodly hour of the morning.

She had let her emotions get carried away again; leaping from thought to irrelevant thought and leaving unbearable pain in their wake. Tsubaki leaned against the tub and stared at the light flickering in the bulb of a small pug-in she'd put there to keep her meister from tipping over things in the dark when he had to get up during the night. She didn't do anything else; she didn't even allow herself to think. She simply looked at the light for a long time, just focusing on the soft, calming glow.

At least, until her thoughts began to beg for attention again. And, against her better judgment, she gave in and allowed the memories crash into her. The subject of the current hour was guilt, but that was really nothing new.

Guilt stalked her mercilessly and harassed her about everything she'd ever done wrong.

It was relentless; even if she managed forgive herself for one thing, another would just take its place.

So, she had decided to stop trying to forgive herself; it really wasn't worth the effort.

This current strand of guilt was newer, though; fresh and even more painful than all of the old guilt. She had known from the moment she saw all of his blood soaking into the ground that Mifune's death was going to be one of those memories that would haunt her until she died.

Or went insane.

Whichever came first.

Because, after all, the fact that she had been the literal instrument of this man's death was not enough; he just had to have a little girl. And not just any little girl, but a young witch who wasn't mature enough to understand that some of the things Mifune had done were wrong (even if they had been done to protect her). Little Angela couldn't be expected to understand why Tsubaki and Black*Star had killed her guardian. They hadn't wanted to, but he left them with no other choice. Tsubaki had never meant for it to end that way. She wished every day that she had tried harder to get Mifune to come back to the DWMA with them. He and Angela would have been safe; he didn't have to be afraid that the DWMA would prosecute Angela for being a witch because they _wouldn't have_. Kim turned out to be a witch, and she's one of the academy's top meisters.

Tsubaki's eyes began to sting again. She swallowed hard and tried to fight the tears, but it was a waste of energy. They still fell. It was just so unfair. Mifune loved kids; he would have been an excellent teacher at the academy. Hell, she and Black*Star had learned so much just from the few times they'd fought him.

This particular guilt and sadness on its own was enough to exhaust a person, but the worst part of it all was that Angela really seemed to like her. Just they day before, she and Tsubaki had been playing tag; laughing and frolicking around like nothing was wrong. But all the while a voice in the back of Tsubaki's head kept pointing out how screwed up it was for Angela to be playing with her guardian's killer. Not that the girl knew Tsubaki had a part in his death. Or that he was even dead at all. Lord Death had forbidden everyone from telling Angela what happened to Mifune; she's very young and no one has any idea what her powers are like or how well she'd be able to control them under the emotional trauma of learning that the only family she had was gone forever.

Tsubaki sobbed. She tried to stifle the sound by biting on her lip; the last thing she wanted was for Black*Star to wake up and find her in heap on the floor, crying uselessly over things neither of them could control. If she told him what was wrong, it would break his heart too (not that he would ever admit it). He shared this guilt, after all. Angela was really growing on him, and she came by to visit both of them as often as she could.

And they both adored her. Tsubaki always thought that if she had a child, she'd want them to be as happy and energetic as Angela. And she believes it's good for Black*Star to finally have someone to annoy him as much as he does to everyone else.

Tsubaki grew more anxious with each passing day of lying to Angela every time she asked where Mifune was. She was caught between wanting to tell her the truth and desperately hoping she would never find out.

As Tsubaki felt her eyelids drooping, she reflected that there really was nothing she could do. She would simply have to wait and tell Angela when she was older and pray that the little witch would forgive her and Black*Star when the time came…


	2. Siblings From the Start

**_Their first meeting went well enough. _**

When their daughter was born, their son had still not discovered his first alternate weapon form.

Which was perfectly normal, as the Power sometimes took a few years to develop; it varied with each individual who obtained it. The fact that he could currently only transform in to a katana was nothing to worry about.

At the time, anyway.

In fact, at that moment in time, they were so happy to be having a daughter that they couldn't even consider being worried about anything. There had been many complications when their first child was born, and the head of the Nakatsukasa Clan and his wife were told they would never have another child. But, here they were: the proud mother cradling her new daughter while her husband lifted their son onto the bed so he could meet his new sister. Young Masamune peered at the girl with curiosity. After watching the baby sleep for all of thirty seconds, he promptly declared that babies were, in fact, boring and did nothing but sleep. His parents laughed and told him that they were really too small to do much else. Masamune reached over and poked his sister gently in the cheek. They baby squirmed and clumsily batted him away with her tiny hands before rolling away from him to the best of her ability. Looking a little offended (in a pouty, three-year old sort of way), Masamune sat next to his mother and listened to his parents try and decide what they were going to name her. However, he quickly lost interest in the conversation and went back to watching the baby sleep only to be reminded that she wasn't any more interesting than his parents were being at the moment. After several minutes of this, he asked:

"Is she always going to be this quiet?"

His mother stopped her discussion to look at him with a tired, slightly annoyed look. "Masamune, you just met her a moment ago. You should give her some time to grow and prove herself before deciding you don't like her."

"I never said I didn't like her! I just said she was being real quiet, that's all!" Masamune said quickly, glancing back and forth between his parents, "I

mean… I haven't even heard her cry or anything! Aren't babies supposed to cry and stuff?"

This was true. Neither parent had heard their daughter make a sound save for when she was first born and had to clear lungs out by crying, like all babies do. But even that hadn't lasted very long. They hadn't paid that much attention to it in their excitement, but she was, indeed, uncharacteristically quiet for a new born; not even make grunting noises or whining or anything.

As they pondered this, Masamune let out a short burst of laughter and said, "She's kinda like a tsubaki!"

Now, coming from him, this wasn't much of a compliment; he wasn't really one to appreciate anything beyond its usefulness and he found the tsubaki to be an utterly useless flower. After all, it had no smell. It was a _flower _that didn't even have a _smell_! What was even the point of that? It just bloomed and died; which was ridiculous to him, even in his three year old brain.

His mother however seemed to have a different frame of mind. Her eyes lit up and she bit her lip thoughtfully.

"A tsubaki, huh…" she murmured. She'd always loved it when the tsubakis around the manor were in bloom. The large red flowers were vibrant and beautiful. Not only did they look wonderful, but she'd always associated the word "tsubaki" with "home", as she'd always had them around, both before and after marriage. They were never in bloom for long though; a fact that always saddened her. Glancing at her husband, she could see the same sort of thoughts reflected on his face.

"I think that'll do, don't you?" she asked him with smile.

He nodded, also smiling, and left to tell the doctor what they'd decided.

Masamune yawned and his mother repositioned herself to make more room, wrapping her arm around him as he prepared to fall asleep beside her. As he began to drift off he noticed his sister peaking at him from under the arm she had laid across her face. She yawned, her tiny mouth stretching into an O shape across her tiny face. Masamune fell asleep with a small smile on his own face. Babies were kinda cute after all…

…

**_She would have gladly given it to him if she could have._**

Tsubaki practically flew in the room, chattering so quickly and with so much excitement that her parents were rather taken aback.

"Tsubaki! Tsubaki! Calm down; I can't understand you!" her mother said, holding up her hands and barely suppressing a laugh. The four year old chain scythe could barely stand still; she was shaking with excitement. On the other side of the room her brother was sitting at the table with her father, watching with unsuppressed amusement and wondering what was causing her to be even more excited about life than usual.

Maybe she'd seen another deer or something.

"Alright, now take a deep breath," her mother instructed, "and tell me what you're so excited about." Tsubaki attempted to do as she was told. The little girl took in a huge breath, standing on the tips of her toes for some reason before slowly letting it out and stumbling back to a normal standing position. Then, with a huge grin on her face she said:

_"I just turned into a ninja sword!"_

The grins disappeared off of her family's faces and Tsubaki's excitement deflated as she suddenly became worried that she'd done something wrong.

"What?" she asked in a small voice as her mother glanced at Masamune with shock then back at Tsubaki.

"Tsubaki," her father said with a scary look on his face, "you shouldn't tell such stories. You are a chain scythe and the second child of the family. You cannot change your form, the way your brother will someday."

Now Tsubaki was really confused. She felt like crying.

"But I can!" she insisted miserably, her eyes beginning to water, "I just did it a second ago!"

"Then show us," Masamune said quietly. He had become rather pale and his voice had taken and unpleasant edge.

Shaking, Tsubaki nodded, causing some of her black hair to fall across her face. Flustered, she fumbled with her bangs for a minute and tried to summon the power to transform.

But she couldn't do it. All she could do was shake. Like the windows during that typhoon last year. A lump formed in her throat; she was so unfocused now, she wouldn't even be able to change into her _chain scythe_, and that was normally as easy as breathing for her. Now, she was panicking.

It took a minute for her to realize why she was so shaken up: she'd never been called a liar before. Least of all by her own family.

Finally, her mother took pity on her, "Tsubaki. Remember what I said before? Deep breaths. Stay calm. Come on, you can do it…"

But it didn't help at all.

Tsubaki just wanted them to believe her, but that wasn't happening and she didn't know how to fix the situation. So she just sank to floor, in an almost overly dramatic way, and rolled over so she wasn't facing them. Her father tried not to roll his eyes and was bracing himself for a four year old temper tantrum when he noticed that she was curling herself into a tight ball. He opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing but was interrupted when she abruptly shrank and _exploded into smoke_. In all the confusion and the coughing and the spluttering, Tsubaki popped back into her human form and used the smoke to hide herself as she attempted to flee the room, her heart pounding in terror.

She had not meant to do that.

She was not entirely sure _what_ she had done, but she did know that all that smoke was going to cause a mess and her parents were going to be really angry that she'd use a weapon form against them.

That was a major violation of the rules.

You do not attack your family, especially with your own weapon form, unless you're training or something. And Tsubaki had no idea how to explain to them that she hadn't done it on purpose; she had simply panicked.

She was almost at the door when her father gripped onto the back of her kimono and snatched her up into the air. She froze, terrified that if she moved, she'd do the smoke-thing again and make her father _really _angry. The smoke began to clear away and the coughing coming from her mother and brother settled down. Her mother approached them cautiously; afraid she would upset Tsubaki and set her off again.

Literally.

"What on earth was that?" she asked in an unsteady voice.

"That was a smoke bomb," her husband replied evenly, not taking his eyes off Tsubaki as he set her down on the ground but didn't let go of her kimono, "It's almost more of a defense mechanism than a real weapon form; we caused her to stress and she responded instinctively by exploding and then trying to flee."

"That's not what I meant!" his wife replied sharply, making Tsubaki flinch. Catching her daughter's reaction, she adjusted her tone and said, "Why did she turn into a smoke bomb? She's a chain scythe!"

"I would think that answer would be obvious," he responded stiffly, "she inherited the Power; the great legacy of the Nakatsukasa Clan."

"But how? That Power should have gone to Masamune! He's the eldest!"

"I don't know but…"

He trailed off, remembering his children were still there.

"Tsubaki! Masamune! Go outside and play."

"But father, wha-"

"Go!"

Both children scrambled out the door as fast as they could, each catching the beginning of their parents' next conversation: "And what's this about a ninja sword…"

Tsubaki kept her head down as she walked, not understanding what had upset them so much in the first place.

She thought they'd be happy that she learned how to change forms.

They'd been waiting so long for Masamune to do it.

But wait, what was it their father had said? That she was the second child? Were only first children supposed to have the Power? Did they think she had somehow taken it from her brother? Is that why they were mad?

She was so confused.

When they got to the courtyard, they could only stand there in a kind of awkward silence, each waiting for the other to say something. After a long pause Tsubaki noticed Masamune's favorite red ball by the steps. She was feeling really awful, like she'd done something terrible to her brother. So, as a peace offering she timidly and somewhat reluctantly asked if he wanted to play ball. For a brief moment, she caught a cold expression on his face before he smiled and answered yes.

Tsubaki kicked the ball to him, stepping on her kimono in the processes and nearly falling. She really hated this stupid game. There was no point to it; they just kicked the ball back and forth and Tsubaki would usually fall on her face and her brother would laugh and they'd just repeat the process over and over. Plus, she usually missed the ball, which slowed game down and frustrated Masamune. This game was always going to be either frustrating or mind numbing. Or both. But for some reason, her brother enjoyed it, so for now, she'd try and enjoy it as well.

Or maybe she could try and play it with him more often.

He never really seemed to enjoy playing "house" and if she really had stolen this Power from him, then the least she could do was kick a ball around with him.

Right?…

**_There were times when he really tried to be a good brother and she tried to be a good sister._**

A few years later, Tsubaki and her brother were sparing in that same courtyard. Tsubaki kept her strikes light and let a few of Masamune's own attacks through rather that blocking them. She knew she was faster than her brother and didn't want to risk bruising him up, like last time.

You would've thought she'd broken all the bones in his body with how upset their mother had been. That was a lecture that went on for hours: _You know you're much stronger than your brother! Stop trying to show him up all the time! You don't impress anyone, Tsubaki!_

And it wasn't like she even _tried _to hurt him; he was just too slow. She'd thought that if she batted him around a little bit; it would give him incentive to try harder the next time. She really didn't hit him very hard either, but she might as well have been trying to convince a rabbit that it was fox for all the good it did for her to explain this to her mother.

Tsubaki really didn't even know what the point of these training sessions was. If she couldn't do anything to help him get stronger, then why did they practice fighting anyway?

Unless it was to boost Masamune's ego; which was highly probable.

So the "training session" ended like usual: Masamune kicked at her feet and she fell over, pretending to be out of breath and declaring she was too tired to continue. Masamune stood over her frowning. He wasn't stupid; he knew she was capable of more than that, but their parents seemed pleased. Both of the praised Masamune and asked if there was any sort of treat he would like as a reward. Masamune shook his head, not really feeling like he needed a reward for this, and waited for them to offer to get something for Tsubaki.

But of course, they didn't.

So he told them that he'd changed his mind and asked if they would bring him a couple of rice cakes. They nodded and smiled in response and went to go tell the servants what he wanted.

Tsubaki sat on the ground, picking aimlessly at the grass stuck on her clothes. Masamune extended his hand toward her.

"Hey, you want to play something?"

Tsubaki looked up at him for a minute before taking his hand and being pulled to her feet.

"Sure. What you want do you want to play?" she asked as she brushed herself off.

"You always let me choose. Why don't you decide this time?"

"…Okay, the lets play with the ball," she said with a smile.

Masamune wanted to pull his hair with frustration. She never really seemed to have fun playing that game, so why did she always pick it whenever given the chance to choose something _she_ enjoyed for a change?

He'd make a different suggestion, but he really didn't have any idea what Tsubaki liked. She never talked about herself to anyone, especially not him. The only thing he knew for a fact was that she liked rice cakes. And he'd only learned that through pure observation.

He barely even knew who this quite little girl was, despite the fact that they'd lived together her whole life and called each other siblings.

He sighed and went to go get the ball.

…

**_If you hear something said out loud enough times, whether you're the one hearing it or saying it, you will eventually start to believe it._**

Tsubaki really didn't understand what she'd ever done to make them dislike her so much.

She approached her parents, almost with fear, and stiffly asked if she could tell them something.

Not looking up from their work, her parents gave their permission.

"I just thought I should let you know that I've gained a new weapon form; a shuriken," she said with a slight waver in her voice.

Her father nodded and dismissed her without saying a word. He just waved her away without even looking up.

It was very difficult to leave that room without throwing something or screaming in frustration.

She didn't exactly expect them to be excited, but a smile, a few words, a simple acknowledgement of _some sort_ would have been less soul-crushing. Or maybe if they would just look at her on the rare occasions when she tried to talk to them…

On the way out, Tsubaki nearly ran into Masamune, who'd been listening at the door. A few years before, there may have been concern or pity on his face, but now his features were twisted into a cruel, mocking smile. He'd come to believe that he really was weak and that it was the fault of his self-important sister who was always so determined to make him feel inferior to her.

The worst part was that she'd come to believe it as well.

"What did you expect?" he snarled, "Did you think they'd be impressed? Are you really so in awe of yourself that you'd actually go and brag about it to our mother and father? You really are pathetic."

Guilt caused her heart to clench. Is that what she had been doing?

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize!" he hissed, starting towards her, "It makes you look weak, and we all know the great Tsubaki isn't weak, she reminds us every day…"

Tsubaki flinched and bolted away to the other side of the manor where her room was.

It was really the only place she ever felt comfortable in.

…

**_She was convinced she had done something to deserve it. _**

Tsubaki didn't ever have much to say anymore.

She sat at the table, listening to her family's happy chatter as they talked about the various events of the day over dinner. Tsubaki herself only politely spoke when spoken to. She didn't dare even ask the servants for anything. If she had, one or all of her family members would make light, casual remarks at her audacity to order other people around. And even worse they'd say it to each other, like she wasn't even there.

So she just sat there, picking at her food and waiting to be formerly excused so she could go back to her room and stare at the ceiling some more.

It was strange to think she had once been such a loud, energetic child.

But what was the point of speaking when everything you said was wrong?

Why bother being loud when you have nothing worthwhile to say?

Her brother told her frequently that the sound of her voice made him sick, and her parents never exactly disagreed, so why bother?

She was, after all, a selfish, conceited brat whose number one goal in life seemed to be making her poor, "sickly" brother feel as worthless and miserable as possible. She didn't even have to say anything to accomplish this; she did so purely by existing and being in his presence.

Her head was pounding again and she didn't really feel like eating.

He'd called her a pathetic flower the other day. What kind of an insult was that? He'd yanked on her hair until her eyes began to water, but she just bit her lip and refused to cry out or fight with him. That only ever made things worse.

_You won't do anything, _he'd taunted, _You don't ever fight back anymore._ _You're just a little girl with no voice; a pathetic flower with no fragrance!_

And he was just a sad boy with no life. Not after she'd come along and taken what was rightfully his.

Her parents had implied as much.

Her head was hurting so badly, she felt nauseous.

The first time Masamune had ever hit her, she'd been too shocked to retaliate. She'd just stood there, staring at him, trying to remember if she'd done something wrong or if he'd just done it on a whim. He didn't hit her hard enough to leave a mark, so she didn't bother telling her parents. Though it's not like they would have believed her even if there was evidence.

She'd once heard her mother say that she felt like a failure as a parent, with a daughter who lied so much.

Her father once claimed that the Power had gone to Tsubaki's head, and that Masamune would have handled it much better that she did.

They treated Masamune like a prince, giving him anything and everything because of the one thing they couldn't give him: that which had been taken from him by his heathen sister.

The room was spinning now. She needed to leave; before she threw up all over the place.

She stood up quickly (the room swirling in response) and asked if she could be excused. Her father looked annoyed at the interruption, but waved her away and went back to reviewing training tips with Masamune. When she was out of the room, Tsubaki found one of the nicer servants and quietly asked if she would bring some pain medicine and an ice pack to her when she got the chance. Tsubaki walked into her room and laid on her futon (which she hadn't bothered to put away this morning), cutting off all the lights as she went. She lay on her back, staring up at the dark ceiling and waiting for that servant to bring her the items she'd requested.

Earlier that morning, when she had ventured out of her room to go take a bath, her brother had passed her in the hall way and shoved her with no warning at all. That was the way he had been recently; sometimes he treated her like an actual human being and other times he'd just snap and attack her (though usually verbally) for no apparent reason. Taken off guard, Tsubaki had lost her balance and smacked her head on the wood of a nearby door frame. She didn't think he'd meant to push her that hard, but did just walk away and leave her there… And, as a result, her head had been throbbing all day.

But the pain was easing away now, which was good; she wasn't one hundred percent sure her parents would take her to the doctor if she'd told them what happened. Maybe if she changed the story and left Masamune's name out of it…

And became the liar they always said she was.

Oh, irony.

She heard a gentle knock on her door and winced in pain as it was slid open and the bright hallway lights poured in. Understanding that Tsubaki had a headache, the servant sat on her knees and gently slid the tray into the room before swiftly but quietly pulling the door closed and leaving her young mistress alone. Tsubaki was grateful for this and, being as her futon wasn't far from the door, she could easily reach the tray and gather what she needed. Upon closer inspection, Tsubaki realized that there were extra items on the tray: a cup of her favorite hot tea and little plate of pudding she'd missed when she had excused herself before dessert could be served. Her throat tightened.

Well, at least one person didn't totally hate her.

…

_AN: This is getting morbidly depressing, I know. It's based off a sad dream I had not too long after seeing episodes ten and eleven. The following chapter will be the continuation and then maybe we can see Tsubaki get some well-deserved happiness…_


	3. Siblings to the End

_**The slightest thing is what saved her**_

Tsubaki sat with her mother, drinking tea and not really paying attention to the conversation they were having. Her brother and father were away for the day and her mother decided that they should spend some time together.

It was so nice to know she was only needed when her mother was feeling bored.

"So… how has training been going?"

"Fine,"

"… Do you feel like you have better control over your weapon forms?"

"Yes, ma'am,"

"Is your brother improving as well?"

"… Yes, ma'am,"

Her mother sighed. With each passing year, she grew more worried about Tsubaki. Having a conversation with the child was nearly impossible. When she mentioned this to her husband, he waved it off; saying she was just being a teenager and she'd get over it eventually. She was so sure though; it seemed like Tsubaki was always this way. It was so difficult to get her to say more than a handle full of words per conversation. Tsubaki really didn't even seem to be paying attention to the one they were having now; she was just staring at the table, sipping on her tea and seeming to be lost in thought. She watched her daughter for a moment and noticed her right hand shook a little when she lifted the tea cup of the table. Alarmed, but thinking maybe it was just her imagination, she asked Tsubaki to bring her a stack of papers from her office. She watched Tsubaki get up slowly and leave the room without saying a word. She frowned as she noticed that her daughter walked with a bit of a limp. Tsubaki returned and went to hand the papers to her mother; her hand trembling as if in pain as she extended her arm.

"Tsubaki," her mother said hesitantly, "is everything alright?"

Tsubaki froze, looking like a deer in the headlights, and stared at her mother for a second before quickly composing herself.

"Yes, Mother, I'm fine,"

She wasn't making eye contact and she looked rather like a cornered animal.

"Let me see your arm, Tsubaki," her mother said, holding out her hand.

Tsubaki hesitated for a moment before doing as she was asked and extending her arm cautiously toward the woman in front of her. Her mother held Tsubaki's hand gently and pushed up the sleeve of her kimono to reveal a dark and painful-looking bruise across her wrist.

Her eyes widened. "Where on Earth did you get a bruise like this, Tsubaki?"

Tsubaki didn't know how to answer. It had been a long time since her mother looked this worried about her; and, for a split second, Tsubaki considered telling her the truth, but swiftly changed her mind.

"I- I fell… while Masamune and I were training," she stammered.

Her mother didn't think she was telling the truth at all. While it was perfectly plausible for her to be hurt while training; why would she wait until now to mention it? And why would she stammer, as if she was nervous about it? Tsubaki was definitely lying; but why?

She sat back and watched her daughter closely. "And you're limping, too… Did that happen while training?"

"Yes," Tsubaki answered, looking relieved, "I twisted my ankle a little; that's all."

"Well," her mother said, eyes narrowing, "that's certainly interesting, seeing as the last time you two trained together was sometime last week, and you definitely weren't limping before today…"

Tsubaki cursed herself; she should have said tripped in the yard or something…

"Tsubaki," her mother said seriously, "how did you get hurt? And, more importantly, why are you lying about it?" What could her daughter possibly have done to hurt herself and refuse to talk about it? Had she been trying to sneak out or something? She is a teenager after all, so some misbehavior was to be expected, especially since this was Tsubaki they were talking about…

"Why do you care all of a sudden?"

She froze. Her daughter's words were so quiet, she wasn't really sure she had heard them correctly.

"What do you mean?"

Tsubaki hesitated and then said, "You never cared before. I know I have been around you while being visibly injured before, so why do you care now, but not all the other times?"

Her mother opened her mouth to angrily retort, but realized with a jolt that Tsubaki was right: she remembered seeing Tsubaki covered in bruises or limping through the manor, but she'd always assumed it was because of training. She closed her mouth a decided to let her daughter explain herself.

Tsubaki noticed the change in her mother's expression and realized that she had finally gotten through to someone.

Her mother was actually listening to her.

But she didn't know how to continue; she was too afraid.

"Take a deep breath," her mother instructed, "and tell me what happened."

With a little half-smile, Tsubaki did as she was told.

"Masamune pushed me off the steps as we were going outside earlier,"

Her mother looked startled; that was not what she expected.

"Why?"

"He just did,"

"Yes, but… that doesn't seem like him at all… "

Tsubaki laughed hollowly and said, "He does stuff like that from time to time; he just gets angry with me for no reason and he'll push me or kick me… or pull my hair… he calls me pathetic, too… telling me that I should just die, just fall to the floor like the useless flower I'm named after…" Her words were spilling out; from one thought to the next, she told her mother everything he'd ever done. Through it all her mother listened in silence, looking a little skeptical, until her daughter began to rant about the part her parents played in all of this.

How, ever since they found out she had the Power, they'd hated her and they'd made sure her brother hated her too.

Her mother's heart clenched. Had they really been so blind? Had they really lead their only daughter to believe that they _hated_ her? They'd been hard on her, yes; they didn't want the Power to go to her head, after all… but had they overdone it? They'd treated Masamune more delicately, for sure… but had they really made him feel inferior and worthless? Had they turned a blind eye to what went on between their children?

Tsubaki had finished speaking. She was standing still, breathing heavily while staring at the ground.

Her mother swallowed painfully, feeling utterly distraught. She didn't really know how to fix this colossal mistake she made, but she had an idea of where to start.

She stood and walked over to Tsubaki, wrapping her arms around her gently in case of any other injuries she'd failed to notice were tormenting her daughter. She hugged her close, burying her face into Tsubaki's hair and rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled out quietly.

Tsubaki didn't have much to say, so she just kind of stood their numbly, wondering if it was all just a dream.

She hugged her mother back though, feeling her eyes water as her mother whispered over and over again:

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… "_

…

_**She couldn't believe he ran away **_

The confrontation had not ended well.

Not that she expected it to; it was hard to convince her father of anything.

But at least she had her mother convinced. That certainly helped when convincing her father.

What she hadn't expected was what her brother had done.

Tsubaki lay in her room, staring at the ceiling, her mind buzzing with everything that had happened that day. Her stomach churned with guilt.

She couldn't believe Masamune was gone.

When her father and brother returned home, her mother had taken her husband into another room to tell him what she had learned from Tsubaki. Masamune sat down next to his sister while they waited for their parents to come back. He glared at her and she, rather than cringing or looking away, glared back, startling _him_ into looking away instead. Was that really all it took? All this time, and all she had to do was stand up to him? Why had she meekly sat back before? She realized that having someone on her side boosted her confidence a lot.

Her brother wasn't so scary anymore.

Her parents returned and her father sat right next to her and bluntly asked, "Is it true?"

And she replied with a simple, "Yes."

Masamune watched their exchange, confused and bit alarmed. Their father looked at both of them, and then sat back rubbing his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry," he said gruffly, "I never realized what we were doing to you two. I didn't realize that we were being too hard on both of you and no amount of apologies is ever going to make it better, but I just want you to know that I am sorry."

He turned to his daughter and said, "Let me see your arm,"

She did so, and she watch as he scowled angrily at the nasty bruise that engulfed her forearm. He turned it so that it was facing Masamune. "This," he began angrily, "is what you've done to your sister. Your little sister who has the same blood running through her veins as you do!"

Masamune watched with a bored expression on his face.

"It's just a little bruise; it'll be gone in no time."

"That is not the point, Masamune! You hurt your sister all the time! You've made her feel like she is worthless! You've caused her _pain. _Does this not bother you?"

Masamune looked unfazed. "You never cared before, so I don't really see why it matters now," he drawled. "Furthermore," he spat suddenly, eyes flashing in anger, "She's the one who goes around acting so superior all the time. She always has that stupid smile on her face like nothing ever bothers her, because _she's _the strong one. _She _inherited the Power that was supposed to go to me! You would think the great Tsubaki, Legacy of the Nakatsukasa Clan, could handle a few bruises."

Tsubaki held her breath; this was nothing new to her, but her father looked furious.

"Go to your room," he hissed quietly, "I'll deal with you later."

Masamune sneered, got to his feet, and walked out of the room, muttering under his breath.

Later, their mother had gone to check on him, only to realize that he'd run away.

Tsubaki rolled on to her side, curling up under her blankets as tears streamed down her face. She had hoped that with time, they could knit their family back together. She thought that with their parents finally understanding what they'd done wrong, they'd all be able to live happily again, like they did before she discovered she could change forms.

It was such a stupid thing to tear their family apart.

…

_**The Enchanted Sword is what they call him**_

A few weeks later, the Nakatsukasa's received news of powerful weapon called the Enchanted Sword that was becoming notorious across Japan. He was a rising kishin that would possess a person, forcing them to be his meister while he controlled their every move and slowly devoured their soul.

Tsubaki's heart sank. Her brother had used that technique _once_ and their father had made him swear never to do it again. But it seems he'd been practicing.

Tsubaki listened to her parents quietly arguing about what to do; they were worried the DWMA would get involved if Masamune got out of hand. But Tsubaki knew there was nothing they could do for him: weapons are forbidden to eat human souls. He was trying to become a kishin, and sometime in the future he would attract enough attention for the DWMA to send someone to collect his soul. There was a chance even they could fail; from the sound of it, Masamune was becoming very powerful… She felt guilt clench at her heart again; she should be the one to go after him, it was her fault he did this after all…

Suddenly, she realized what she needed to do.

She walked into the other room, catching bits of her parents' whispered conversation.

"We should just let the DWMA deal with it…"

"No, we need to take care of this now, while we still can! The DWMA doesn't get involved until things get really bad. Do you not remember all the death and destruction that occurred when they finally came to take care of the Star Clan? Talk about a nightmare-"

They stopped when they noticed Tsubaki.

"I should do it," Tsubaki stated bluntly.

Her parents just stared.

"… And how do you plan to do that?" her father asked.

Tsubaki took a breath, knowing they wouldn't like her answer, "I'm going to join the DWMA."

Her mother narrowed her eyes and her father frowned.

"If I find a good meister," she continued, "I could stop him."

"No one in the Nakatsukasa Clan has ever had a meister, Tsubaki," he father said, "It's disgraceful."

"It's the only way to beat him," Tsubaki argued, "He won't expect it. We can't risk someone else trying. I know more about him and how his Soul Possession technique works. It has to be me. We can't keep letting other people die because of our mistakes. I'll contact them later and see what I have to do in order to join."

With that, Tsubaki left to make the call to the DWMA.

Her mother looked at her father and asked, "What do you think?"

"She seemed pretty determined," he said, with a smile, "It's nice to see her gaining confidence. And she's right; this is her fight."

He realized this was the first time in years he allowed himself to be proud of his daughter; he'd always suppressed the feeling before in an attempt to be fair to his son…

He left the room, waving off his wife's confused inquiry as to where he was going, and went out into the hall where Tsubaki was asking a maid if she knew how to contact the DWMA. She saw her father and a worried look flashed across her face; she probably assumed he was there to try and change her mind.

"What is it, father?" she asked.

"Nothing really," he replied, pulling his surprised and slightly confused daughter into a tight hug, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you."

…

_**She could relate to the boy on the roof with ease. **_

Tsubaki felt nervous as she approached the DWMA for the first time.

Lord Death had been nice enough when she talked to him, but being more than five thousand miles from everything she'd ever known was a little daunting.

And, she had to admit, a bit of a relief.

The flight from Japan had been a long one, almost twelve hours, and sleeping most of the way had probably not been the best idea as she always felt confused and completely unrested upon waking from long naps. She'd arrived just in time for the entrance ceremony, though and she was thankful that the academy had been so easy to find; the building was huge and rather… unique-looking. It looked almost like a castle, but covered in huge white skulls, giant red needles and spires, and… were those giant functioning candles? That had to be a fire-hazard.

Overall, it was kind of weird-looking, but the silliness of it all actually made Tsubaki feel a little better.

All those steps could kill a person, though.

No, seriously; had they never heard of escalators?

When she finally reached the top of said staircase, she felt both out of breath and out of place as she took in her surroundings. A huge crowd of kids from all parts of the world were chatting excitedly in front of the school while teachers walked around handing them name tags out of boxes. Tsubaki could see that the doors hadn't opened yet, so most students were getting know one another better or revisiting with old friends while they waited. Tsubaki stood off to the side, trying not to look too lost or nervous, and watched other people climb up that ridiculous stair case. It made her feel a little better to know she wasn't the only who had difficulties breathing upon reaching the end.

"Weapon or meister?" a voice asked, startling her. She turned toward the sound to see a muscular man with dreadlocks holding one of the boxes.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," the man said sheepishly, "I'm Sid, I'll be one of your teachers here at the academy. I need to give you a label to make it easier for you to find a partner. So, which are you: Weapon or Meister?"

"Oh, nice to meet you," Tsubaki answered with a small bow, "I'm a weapon."

"Okay," he rummaged through the box for a second and pulled out a plastic name tag with the word WEAPON written on it and handed it to her, "Careful not to stab yourself with the safety pin; you'd be surprised at how many times that's happened today…"

"Thank you," Tsubaki said, taking the tag as Sid moved on to give out the rest out to other students.

Tsubaki fumbled with the pin for a minute, having a little trouble hooking it to clothes without pricking herself. She was so engrossed with her task that she, once again, allowed someone to sneak up on her.

"Do you need help?" asked a voice nearby. Tsubaki looked up to see a blonde girl with large green eyes standing before her. The girl smiled and took the pin, fiddled with a little and then hooked it onto Tsubaki's clothes with ease.

"The metal's bent in some of these things," the girl explained as she took a few steps back, bowing slightly and cheerfully saying: "I'm Maka Albarn!"

Surprised, Tsubaki bowed back wondering if this girl had some sort of Japanese background, considering her name and her quick and polite recognition of Tsubaki's origins.

"I'm… Tsubaki Nakatsukasa," she replied a little clumsily; she'd only remembered at the last second to switch the order of her name around. She was fluent in English and a few other languages, as was tradition in her clan, but it was still a strange language and sometimes she had to think before speaking or she'd mess something up.

"MAKA!" a frantic voice called from behind them. A red haired man was approaching them, waving his hands wildly and obviously trying to get Maka's attention.

Maka's cheerful personality suddenly vanished and her expression soured.

"Sorry, I've gotta run now," she said through gritted teeth, "I'll see you later; it was nice meeting you, Tsubaki!"

And she took off in the opposite direction of the red haired man, blending skillfully into the crowd.

"Maka, wait for Papa!" the man cried, trying to follow her through the mass of people.

Tsubaki didn't have much time to wonder at this strange scene because the doors to the DWMA were opening and the crowd had begun to make its way toward the building. Tsubaki decided to wait at the back for the crowd to thin out some; she wasn't really in any hurry, and she didn't feel like getting trampled.

The fairly loud and excited chattering of the crowed was suddenly interrupted as a loud "YAHOO!" shattered the air from above.

Startled, the students who were still outside paused to look up and see a small figure far overhead flailing his arms around on one of the huge red needles that stuck out of the front of the school. Tsubaki couldn't really make out what he was saying over the crowds murmurs to each other:

"Is that a jumper?"

"-Or an acrobat?"

"-Or an escaped lunatic?"

Many people shrugged and continued inside, quickly losing interest, but Tsubaki hadn't noticed them. She was still trying to hear the boy's shouting, which was becoming a little clearer as more people went inside.

Something about transcending Death?

She wasn't quite sure.

After a second he abruptly stopped and Tsubaki realized the courtyard was empty. She was the only one who stayed through his whole performance. Not wanting him to be disheartened, Tsubaki decided to stay where she was, at least until he left, and was wondering if she should clap or something when it suddenly struck her that the boy wasn't doing this to "show how great he was" or whatever; he was doing it purely for the attention.

He just wanted someone to listen to him.

Tsubaki could relate to that.

She clapped for him, making sure she was loud enough for the sound to reach him from so far below him.

Tsubaki was surprised when the boy jumped from the needle and landed in front of her. He didn't even stumble or grunt. She didn't even want to know high that was, and he'd done it like it was easy as walking.

"That was amazing!" she told him, referring both to his speech and the jump.

He got uncomfortably close to her face (which was sort of funny seeing as he was quite a bit shorter than her) and told her she was the first to recognize his talents and that she'd "go far" as he put it. Not really knowing how to respond to this, she just politely told him her name and discovered that he was a meister by the name of Black*Star. They headed for the doors of the DWMA (now a little late after all that) and talked with each other along the way.

Tsubaki wondered if the boy would take her as weapon partner. He was very strong and he seemed to have a good heart.

With his help, she might be able to defeat her brother.

…

_**She hadn't expected she could save him, but that didn't stop her heart from breaking as he died**_

Tsubaki lay against her brother's shoulder, with a sword stuck straight through her chest. She could feel her soul fading into some distant place of no return. Some place where she would just conjure up memories of when they were kids for all of eternity. The white sky was suffocating and an image of her brother stood over her while she stood in front of a camellia bush, feeling like a small child again and holding that stupid red ball with that meek smile on her face. Her brother was just saying what he always had: reminding her of how she had ruined his life and it was all her fault that he started down this path in the first place…

But a voice cut through it all: "Please tell me that's not actually what you're thinking!" her meister voice said from somewhere behind her, "Come on Tsubaki! You know better than that; don't even listen to this guy!" She spun around but there was no one there. Had Black*Star actually found a way to reach her here, or was she just imagining him and what he'd say…? Regardless, she felt… taller and stronger. She felt her soul regaining strength. And, most importantly, she realized something crucial, something important.

It wasn't her fault.

_Nothing her brother had ever done was her fault! _

"You're wrong," she growled in her brother's ear. He flinched at her sudden revival and kicked her away. She leapt to her feet, angry that for all these years she had let him convince her that any of this was her fault. "You're wrong!" she cried over and over. She wasn't going to baby him anymore and he shouldn't expect her too. She told him as much, begging him to see how serious she was. She even managed to throw his favorite old insult back in his face by pointing out that she had made a friend who helped her realized that a camellia does have a fragrance.

Masamune was not too happy at that retort.

She charged her brother, fending off all of the attacks from his shadows, and they stabbed each other, through and through.

Tsubaki could feel his soul fading. Despite the unbearable pain she was in, she knew she was alive and had defeated her brother. She could her Black*Star's voice somewhere far in the distance, begging her for an encore. She'd never heard him sound so worried before, she needed to leave here; go back to him…

She opened her eyes to see the remains of her brother floating in front of her. The dark, angry expression she'd come to know was gone and instead she was staring into the face of the older brother she'd loved as a child. She whimpered out his name and watched as he faded away, leaving nothing but his corrupted soul behind. She wrapped her arms around it and sobbed.

She became aware of a tapping sound and a feeling like she was being poked in the side… Oh, Black*Star, she needed to get back to the physical world.

She focused for a moment and somehow returned to her human form, standing in front of Black*Star who was on the ground and covered in blood for some reason. Tsubaki put on her best fake-smile, afraid she'd break down if given the chance. Black*Star stood up and asked if she was okay. She said yes with a fake-laugh, but he just grew more serious and asked again. It was sweet of him to care, but if he kept asking, she was going to lose it; she was finding hard to fight the tears. But when Black*Star spread his arms out and offered her a hug, that was it. She was gone. She felt the tears well up and tried to fight them but failed, so she just choked out an apology and through her arms around his waist, burying her face in stomach so he wouldn't see her cry. She felt him patting her head, which made her feel a little better… She couldn't remember the last time she cried like this. She never expected to get so attached to this boy…

…

Later, as they entered the Death Room, Black*Star asked if she still wanted to be his partner. She stopped, surprised by the question. She'd forgotten for a moment that her original plans were to go back home after defeating Masamune. To be completely honest, she hadn't really been sure that she'd survive her fight with her brother, so she hadn't thought much about what would happen after… Black*Star was looking a little worried that she was taking so long to answer, so she smiled and said, "Of course!" and was flattered by how happy he seemed. She was sure her parents would understand. She wanted to be far away from that house for a while. She couldn't imagine going back and returning to the dull day to day clan activities with memories of her brother and her childhood to haunt her every step of the way. To her surprise, Tsubaki really enjoyed the hyperactive, random and spontaneous life she lived here at the DWMA. She'd come to love all of her friends and she couldn't imagine a day without them.

In fact, as she and Black*Star made it to Lord Death's mirror; she realized that their friends and even one of their professors were there to welcome them back. She was surprised; by their reactions, they must have been watching the whole thing. Geez; they'd left in such hurry to make sure they wouldn't find out (she hadn't wanted them to worry) and here they were, watching the whole thing from Lord Death's mirror. She was happy to see them though.

It was a good reminder of the happy future she could see lain out in front of her…


End file.
